How to deal with Fear and Anxiety

I just want to take this opportunity to say that I sincerely hope that you and your family are not overly affected by the events concerning Coronavirus. We have heard or experienced so much confusion and uncertainty lately, and I feel sorry for all of those who are caught up in events beyond their control.  But I also want to congratulate those who are learning to cope with a new world order  and especially those who are focusing on kindness rather than succumb to the fears.  I think there have been some incredible changes in the behaviour in society, and many of these changes are visible everywhere we look.  Some behaviours are not always kind or helpful, because they are probably fear based.  But on the positive side, there are many behaviours which are based on kindness and sharing, which are brought about when people overcome their fears and anxiety.  Which side would you rather be on – fear or kindness?

Fear and Anxiety

But the problem is that it seems that most of the commentary is all about fear and anxiety – which is certainly true for many people.  What I mean by this is the media, such as news broadcasts, which rarely bring good news content.  And I also refer to social media, which can spread false messages of fear or panic, depending on the flow of popular opinion.  And I guess these negative emotions are logical and understandable, whenever there is confusion and widespread fear.  Especially in times of rapid change, and when the future is uncertain, there are bound to be fears of the unknown, or fears of what might happen (even if these fears don’t actually happen).  However, these fears and uncertainties can seem very real and very concerning when we get caught up in the anxiety of current events.

Fear is one of our primitive emotions

The problem with fear is that it is a very primitive emotion, which tends to dominate our thoughts, and dominate our emotions.  When we get totally overcome with these primitive emotions, it can be very difficult to get back to our normal happy or relaxed place.  And I know where I would rather be – I hate being uptight, anxious, and out of control.  I would much rather maintain a relaxed attitude, and avoid long term stress which is bad for our health.  But as we all know, and no matter how hard we try to control the outside world, we simply cannot control the outside world.  As has been evidenced in the current circumstances of social isolation, The outside world is definitely having a large impact on our lives, and sometimes things can seem very confusing and concerning.

How can we control our emotions

I understand that emotions can seem overwhelming at times, and I sympathize with people when it seems like things are spiraling out of control.  But sometimes it is only our perception that things are out of control.  Sometimes we need to take a look from a different perspective, or take the helicopter view.  What I mean by this is to take a look down on ourselves from up above.    Maybe we can begin to see that no matter how bad things seem, or how out of control we feel, that maybe things could be worse.  What I know for certain is that there will be some people out there for whom the situation is worse for them, than it is for us.  Maybe instead of focusing on ourselves, we should actually feel grateful for what we do have, and not worried about what we stand to lose.

Worry about the future leads to fear

How to Deal with Fear

When we worry about loss, or sorrow, or anxiety, what we are really experiencing is fear.  This type of fear is actually the fear of the future, or fear of the unknown, and the reason is that we cannot possibly predict what the future has in store.  Nor can we accurately control what will happen to us in the future.  It is rather pointless to worry and fear for the future.

Fear leads to anxiety and suffering

When we suffer from uncontrolled fear, the real problem we have is the pain associated with that fear.  And then we tend to try to dull that pain and that fear, with drugs, with alcohol, with shopping, with food or with chocolate, or whatever other addiction you can find.  If you have ever tried these things, you will know that these things are excellent as distractions!  And the issue with these addictions is that we are simply using the addiction as a distraction from the things we are afraid of and anxious about.

Alcohol to dull the fear and pain

I know this for a fact, because I used alcohol to dull the fear and anxiety, and as a distraction from the fears.  Alcohol will take away your pain and your fear, it is really good at that, but only for a short while.  UNTIL it makes everything worse.

The problem with drinking to hide the fear

Here is the real problem with using alcohol as a distraction.  Because this is the huge problem with drinking as a way to hide the pain and fear.  First, it will take away your happiness – then It will take away your freedom, your family, your job, your home and even your self respect.

The ultimate irony with drinking

This would have to be the ultimate irony with drinking to dull the fear and anxiety.  Because you are no doubt worried about losing something valuable to you.  And the thing you were worried about losing in the first place, will be gone, and all you will be left with was the pain you started with!

There is a better way – Why not deal with the pain first, and see what other good things come into your life?

Do you need a break from alcohol?

Do you want to break free of the things that hold you back?  If you want a break from alcohol, then that is a great place to start.  Because as I always say, alcohol pretends to overcome our fear and anxiety, but if you are not careful,  it just makes it worse!

If you want to learn more about how to take a break from alcohol, then give our private, self-paced, online course a try.  CLICK HERE to get started.