Am I being judgemental or observant?
I had an experience on the weekend to do with someone drinking some wine. And I like to think I’m not judgemental, but it does tend to be very strong in a person’s upbringing – it was in mine.
And so, I’m kind of mindful [of being judgemental]. I like to think I was observant, but I’m mindful that I might be taken as judgemental, but I want to know what you think.
Tony and I were at a workshop on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So, this was a learning workshop. It was like a seminar, [and] it was in an event center. We were all seated at tables, and learning.
It started on Friday, and our children were actually able to come along and sit up with us at the back of the room, just so we could be there.
And about sometime late morning, the first morning, there was a fellow, a man, sitting at a table just a little way down from me – but no – he was in front of me, he was in front of me Friday.
It was after morning tea I realize now, so we’d been out for morning tea at about 11. It was a bit late – a lot of information to pack in – and I happened to notice that he had a bottle of white wine on his desk, and the lid was off.
I took a took a double glance, because – I’ve been in this environment a lot, I’ve gone to these classes, these kinds of classes a lot – and everyone drinks coffee, and they have water on the table. There’s water bottles on the tables, there’s water glasses, but I’ve never seen anyone bring in a bottle of wine! And of course that being my… I guess it’s not my “thing”, I can’t say it’s my “thing”, but it’s a thing I’m conscious of.
I looked at this bottle of wine with the lid off, and it was like a little bit way, a little bit had been taken out of it, and I thought “oh, he must have had some in his water glass.”
Okay, so this is like, you know, 11 or 12 o’clock on a Friday lunch [time]. And alright, you know, if you’re in a cafe or a restaurant, you’d expect that, wouldn’t you?
But this was in an environment, I’ve never seen wine before.
Anyway, so I said to Tony later on (when I wasn’t going to be heard to be gossiping about this man in front of me!), I said, did you see that?
Our eldest son actually said he was drinking it from the bottle. I thought, well you could have at least put it in the glass! But I was just – you know – gobsmacked I suppose, thinking, no one else is doing it. This is a room of 50 or 60 people I suppose. No one else … you know … I’ve never seen that before. I’ve been in these rooms when there’s been 100 people.
Anyway, so I thought “okay, well look, you know, don’t go on about it, just because you’re observant of this means nothing, maybe he just likes a drink at lunchtime.”
So the next day on Saturday, he sat somewhere slightly different, and I wasn’t really thinking about it. But we were walking back from morning tea, [and I] saw him walking ahead of us, and he had his bottle of white wine, another bottle, under his arm (it wasn’t open), carrying it up after morning tea. I thought, well okay, he’s getting that ready for lunchtime.
The day before, we noticed, it was finished off by the end of the afternoon session, and so on Saturday, same thing happened, and I was kind of watching it without watching it, thinking, well when did he take the lid off?
And it wasn’t until probably after 12, so it was before we went out for our lunch break, and he’d only had a little bit out of it, but by the end of the afternoon, he’d gone and it was gone.
Then on the Sunday, he wasn’t there at all.
It was a three-day workshop, and so, what’s my point?
It seemed strange to me, because in that situation no one else was having a glass of wine,
and it just seemed out of place. I’ve never seen that before.
It’s in my consciousness, so I observed it.
I don’t know if anyone else even noticed, but I caught right on to it.
I’m trying not to be judgmental, but really wondering.
So the question is, was he just a relaxed fellow who doesn’t feel self-conscious, and isn’t worried about what other people think. And he just likes to have his glass of wine at lunchtime no matter what? I guess that’s fine.
You have to sort of wonder though, if he had one during the middle of the day, did he go home and have another?
I don’t know.
Anyway, why am I telling you this?
It’s around this topic, isn’t it?
So what I wanted to know, do you think I’m being observant, or do you think I’m being judgemental?
Do you think the fellow was just chilling and relaxing, and he was going to have a drink when he felt like it, and he doesn’t have a drinking problem.
Or do you think maybe that’s a sign of a drinking problem?
I don’t know.
If you’ve got a comment, I’d love to read what you think in the comments below this video.