I don’t know about you, but I have trouble with moderation.  Whether it be eating, drinking, having fun, or whatever.  I’m all or nothing.  So how am I supposed to drink in moderation?  I can tell you right now, that I simply can not, could not drink in moderation.

But we are recommended to “drink in moderation”

Two Things Irritate Me About the Message to Drink in Moderation

Firstly, this is advice given by someone who clearly does not comprehend the grip alcohol gets on some of us.

They don’t have an alcohol problem, yet they’re giving advice about how to not have an alcohol problem.  To me, that’s like diet advice from an obese person, financial advice from a bankrupt or marriage advice from a divorcee.  Unless it’s perhaps in the context of what ‘not to do’!  And forgive me if my comments insult anyone in these categories – that is the last thing I wish to do.  My intention is to make a clear point.

Secondly, as far as we (Tony and I) are concerned, the advice to “drink in moderation” is yet another lie about alcohol.  How anyone can consume an addictive substance and maintain any amount of moderation is beyond me.  Can anyone drink in moderation? Well, yes, they do, and there are reasons for that.  But if you’re reading this, I’m 99% sure you’re not one of those people!  For us, moderation is a ridiculous, torturous concept (when it comes to alcohol).

I am Not a Moderate Person

I am simply not a moderate person.  I do not consider myself to be average or medium.  I am not happy just to go with the flow.  I don’t have to be the life of the party, but often I will be one of the last to leave!

When I commit to something, I like to go all out.  When I believe in something, I like to give it my best shot.  I’ll stand up for what I believe in, even if it means standing alone!  (And I don’t even feel lonely!) So how am I supposed to drink in moderation, when I am not a moderate person by nature?

So many people say – “Anything in Moderation is okay”.  That really irritates me.

I have a great appetite, I have a sweet tooth, and I have a problem when it comes to drinking in moderation.  I guess I always knew that I had a problem with moderation, but it was always too easy to justify it by saying “everything is okay in moderation”.

Not Everything is Okay in Moderation

Not everything is okay in moderation, because some things are addictive.  Alcohol is addictive. It is a mind altering substance that creates a pleasurable sensation in the brain which is almost impossible for the brain to resist.  It is a fact that alcohol is addictive.  It causes cravings which are difficult to resist, and when we drink alcohol to make the cravings go away, all that happens is that more cravings return the next day.  I think this BBC News report explains some essential facts very clearly Why Alcohol Is Addictive.

It is the same with many things in life

Alcohol is not the only thing that has this effect on our body.  Even the simple things like chocolate and sweet snacks have a similar effect.  Once we trigger that pleasure response in the brain, it can be very difficult to turn off the switch.  Or to put it another way, if we have trouble doing things in moderation, it can be hard to control the urge to keep going.

This should come as no surprise

Sugar creates a pleasurable experience in the brain, so what happens after we eat it?  Our brain tells us we need more.  Okay so we resist the initial urge to have more sugar, but what happens next?  Our stomach suddenly gets hungry, and not many of us can resist the urge to eat.  So we eat more sweet things, and what happens next?  We get even more hungry!

This is human nature

There are many examples of this behaviour in human nature.  We humans are programmed to seek pleasure.  We we achieve this by actively choosing the opposite of pain or discomfort.  We instinctively move away from pain and move towards pleasure.  When we find something that brings pleasure, we do it.  Then we do it again.  And again.  And if that “thing” happens to be chemically addictive, we’re losing the battle from the get-go.

What Else is Advised to be Done in Moderation?

In the same way we are told to drink in moderation, we are also told to gamble responsibly.  Some of us can, and some of us simply cannot resist the urge to continue gambling.  At least not until long, long after all inhibitions have been lost.  And all the money lost.  And then the house lost and the family out on the street.  It happens.  Those of us who don’t have a gambling addiction don’t get it, just as those who give the advice to “drink in moderation” don’t get it.

Smoking is a problem that many people cannot resist.  Once addicted to nicotine, they find it extremely difficult to moderate their behaviour.  Illicit drugs are exactly the same.  We know that drugs are addictive, and yet many people seem to be drawn into the danger like moths to the flame.

There are shopping addictions and there are addictions to sex.  It all depends upon the individual.  What pain or discomfort are they moving away from?  And what activity is it that stimulates the pleasure centre in their brain?

Perhaps for some people and some activities, an addication may not be a threat to their wellbeing or a life destroying issue.

But based on the death rates we’re seeing from alcohol, addictions to alcohol are indeed an issue.  And that doesn’t take into account the relationships destroyed and the suffering spread around.  Nor the deaths from car accidents.

Enough, enough, I’m making myself miserable!

My Point Is?

Moderation is not always an option.

When people tell me it is ok to drink alcohol, just make sure you drink in moderation, all I see is the green light.  By the time the lights go amber, it is too late.  And by the time the lights go red, well I don’t want to think about that.  I don’t care, anyway, by then!

There is a better way  for me.

The light bulb moment for me was when I understood just how alcohol is addictive.  The reason alcohol is addictive is that it triggers the pleasure centre of the brain, and causes uncontrollable urges to drink more alcohol.  The day after drinking alcohol, the cravings just come back worse than ever.  When we give in to the cravings, it only encourages the vicious cycle around alcohol – it never makes it better.

Trying to drink less was emotionally painful for me.  Like that extra piece of chocolate turning into half the block or the extra serve of icecream we shouldn’t have, it’s soooo hard not to have that next drink.  But the next drink is easier, and the next even easier because the inebriation has removed sensible reason.  But the next day, oh the guilt and sorrow.  Day after day.  Week after week.  Month after month.  Year after year.  Worse and worse.

I Tell You.  Giving Up Drinking Was a RELIEF

Stop drinking and stay stopped. That’s what I eventually did.  I didn’t think I could ever do it, or ever want to do it.  But by the time I’d been through the process of exploring, researching, realising and understanding what was happening to me (and realising that my conscious thought didn’t have a hope), I found the change easier.

The light bulb moment for me was that I could not win the battle against alcohol while I still allowed alcohol into my life.  Even a small amount of alcohol causes that familiar sensation of needing more alcohol.  Then the inhibitions fall away, and a little bit becomes a lot, because as I have learned, I cannot drink in moderation.

Stop Eating Junk Food and Stop Feeling Hungry

Sound familiar?  It is the same problem with other compulsive behaviours, like eating sweet snacks, sugar and soft drinks or sodas.  If we can learn to avoid the problem, then often the urges and cravings will go away.  It is the same with alcohol.  Every time you have a drink, the 24 hour alcohol clock starts over again.  If we don’t start drinking, then we avoid the whole cravings cycle from happening.

Thinking About Drinking

It is possible to change the way we think about drinking.  Most of what we come to understand about our lifestyle choices comes from advertising, environment and hearsay.  Who ever said “drink in moderation” was trying to be helpful.  Bless them, their intention was good!  Whoever took that to mean a green light to keep on drinking got it just a little bit wrong.  Well, I did anyway.

Twisting the common meaning of words to keep doing whatever we want to do is actually motivated by alcohol acting on our subconscious mind.  Simply doing whatever we see other people around us doing does not mean it is okay for our health, or that it is the right choice for us.

We actually need to think about our lifestyle choices.  We need to make our own decisions to guide our own lives.

I decided that I don’t need to eat junk food, and I don’t miss it.  At all.

I decided that I needed to do something about my problem with “drinking in moderation.”  I decide that I would be better off without it.  I don’t need it, I don’t think about it, and I don’t miss it.  At all.

I Lied

Okay, I lie.  Around 95% of the time, I don’t think about it.  Occasionally I see a beautiful table laid with a white cloth, sparkling silverware, shining dinner plates and tall stemmed glasses, ready for wine.  Something in me ‘twangs’.  I have a second look.  I remember where that emotion comes from – from memory, from visual image.  Visions and messages.  Habits and cultures.  It’s the world I’ve been born into.  It has many wonders, many blessings.  My wonders and blessings are not the ability to consume alcohol in moderation.  I am not missing out on anything.  Wonders and blessings abound.  I just have to see them.  I have to be mindful enough to be aware of them.  To recognise them.  In a split second the ‘twang’ subsides and I think – ever so briefly – of the awful path I’ve been down.  I remind myself that that same path is still there for me, should I choose to take it.

I reject it.

With a smile, a blink and a light heart, I move towards my wonders and blessings.  I love being alcohol free.

This can also be your reality.  Keep close to us, for the vision to become a reality for you.

 

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