“I’m not an alcoholic but want to stop drinking”
This was a thought that used to swirl around in my brain regularly. I’m not an alcoholic! But I want to stop drinking, so why can’t I just stop? Today, preferably.
It was a simple statement, but not so easy to make happen. There always seems to be something happening, some excuse or an event to celebrate. The always seems to be another reason to have another drink. Or some kind of logic to cut down another time – next week, or the week after. Or that’s how it was for me anyway. Had a busy week working? Had a busy weekend? Relaxed, happy and celebrating? Stressed and so need to unwind? Whatever the reason, it just seems like another reason to have another drink or two.
Did I really drink that much last week?
I used to hate adding up how much I had had to drink, because I knew it was too much. Sometimes it was best not to think about how much alcohol I was consuming in the course of a normal week. Does that sound like denial? But that was last week, and now we have to get ready for the new week. Before we know it, another week of drinking happens. Despite all the good intentions, the same patterns just seem to keep appearing. The same habits just seem to keep happening. And I had that same thought in my head – I’m not an alcoholic but I want to stop drinking! Surely I can make it a few days without drinking until next weekend. But there was always some excuse and yet another reason to have a drink. Or that’s how it was for me.
Those same old bad habits
Drinking alcohol is a habit. Drinking alcohol every day had certainly become a habit for me, and in some ways, it just sneaked up on me before I had properly realised it. I always (mistakenly) thought that alcohol was somehow not bad for me, especially ‘in moderation’. Afterall, there were those “good” news stories in the paper that suggested a glass or two of wine was actually healthy. I believed the advice that suggested 2 standard drinks for women and 4 standard drinks per day for men was ok. Then that all started to change. I found a news story that suggested that the health benefits of alcohol had been exaggerated. Then the recommended drinking limits were reduced to no more than 2 drinks per day whether male or female. But by this time, I was drinking way more than that, anyway. It had become a really bad habit. Now I had a big dilemma.
Maybe I am better off without alcohol?
The messages were bombarding me from the outside. Drink and have fun with your mates. Be the life of the party. It’s okay to relax with a wine. Everyone else is doing it. But I was fighting a battle on the inside. I’m not an alcoholic but want to stop drinking, regardless!
“But, actually, I don’t want to stop.”
There I said it.
Even though I knew deep down that I should stop drinking, there was a reluctance that I could not control. It became a battle of will power to cut back on drinking some days, but on those other days, I just kept on drinking. After one drink and the best of intentions, the old habits kept returning. Inevitably I would find myself drinking too much again, and regretting it the next day.
The feelings of regret just get worse
The problem with alcohol is that it just made me feel bad. I felt bad the next day. I regretted not being able to control my drinking habit. And I could no longer handle drinking like I could when I was younger. The feeling of that headache, hangover and wasted days just wasn’t worth it any more.
The problem with alcohol is that people don’t always see the problem. Alcohol dependence can sneak up on anyone. No one ever plans on becoming an alcoholic, it is something that gradually takes over. The best we can hope for is that we start to realise “I’m not an alcoholic but want to stop drinking for the sake of my health”.
Do you want to stop drinking?
Deep down, I knew that I wanted to stop drinking because of the warning signs about health, addiction, and the loss of control. For some of us, there might be emotional reasons why we drink too much. If so, these issues from our past will never get better while we continue to self-medicate with alcohol. The best advice is to take a break from drinking and get to the core of our own personal story. Otherwise, you may find that no matter how hard you try to quit drinking, the old habits just keep returning. If you don’t resolve the deep down issues, then the surface problems keep coming back to, well, the surface!
Change your thinking about drinking
I changed my mindset about drinking. Although I don’t think I would have been classed as an alcoholic, I realised I actually wanted to stop drinking. Maybe before I did earn the classification of ‘alcoholic’? How does one earn the classification of alcoholic? Do we have to go to the doctor to be dubbed one? Sonya tells several stories of trying to raise the issue of drinking with medical practitioners and support staff and the concern seemingly being downplayed. She even recalls being recommended to have a drink to relax. Do we have to become a teminally ill alcoholic before we get help to not be an alcoholic? So who decides who is an alcoholic? What’s the definition? Who decided on the definition?
We say, if it’s a problem, it’s a problem. A label is not helpful. Particularly not a negative label.
There is more harm than good from drinking alcohol, that is now clear. I don’t regret my decision.
When alcohol started becoming a problem in my life, I wanted it out of my life. It no longer creates any desire in my life. I don’t drink it and I don’t miss it.
I decided to quit, and with a little help along the way, I know my life is better now that I don’t drink. It didn’t happen overnight, but with the right process, it happened and it is permanent.
I’m not an alcoholic but want to stop drinking
If you feel this way, then I recommend that you take steps to stop drinking. Some people recommend that you drink in moderation, to avoid drinking problems.
But if you have read this far, I recommend that you stop drinking completely. And that is the best way to guarantee that drinking never becomes a problem. That it never takes more from you than you are willing to give.
Let me show you how to stop drinking. No fuss, no public admissions of guilt, no inconvenience. Gentle, mindful, helpful, guiding and logical. CLICK HERE to get started.