What do you think about an alcohol free Christmas? Does it sound good, or does it sound like a miserable thing to have to suffer? Anaesthetic to dull the pain of those really annoying relatives (Did I say THAT??!!) aside, what difference does having alcohol, or not having alcohol, make to you on Christmas Day? Or, of course, throughout the whole festive season? Would you feel like you are missing out? Or can you see a way to believe you are not missing out on anything?
It all depends entirely on the thoughts you choose.
What an Alcohol Free Christmas Means to Me
Last night was the occasion of Tony’s work Christmas dinner. It was held at a lovely venue here in Brisbane, a popular ‘indoor-outdoor’ setting that suits our steamy summer just nicely. On offer was a casual yet classy menu and of course, lots of drinks were flowing. As is the Aussie custom! (Perhaps it’s the custom where you are, too?) And being a company funded event, the drinks were free.
We had a pleasant time, sitting and talking with some friendly people about camping in the great outdoors. (For the record, I am NOT a camping type! Tony is. But I have initiated a short caravanning holiday for the middle of the year to take the Boys on, so was keen to get some insider tips!)
We very much enjoyed the meal and as we no longer drink, did not have any alcohol. Did we miss it? Do you think we felt like we had missed out? Did we wish we had been drinking still?
Arrivals Drinks
We were running a wee bit late, having had to get the Boys bathed, fed & packed off to our wonderful neighbour for the evening. Breezing in to the stand-up-socializing fashionably late was more about getting a bubbly mineral water for Tony & a Lemon, Lime & Bitters for me to quench our thirst! Normally I’d have been desperately anticipating my first Sparkling Wine (we’re not allowed to call it Champagne here in Australia now, unless it actually comes from France) and fervently and hopefully surreptitiously sipped that down quickly enough to fit in a second one before moving over to the tables to be seated for dinner.
Thankfully, since I have almost reached my 12 months mark of my final decision to Love Being Alcohol Free, I am largely now immune to pangs, desires, cravings for drinking. I will say that there are occasionally flashes of ‘unhelpful thoughts’ about alcohol, but the program that Tony & I have developed mean that I have simple and powerful ways of dealing with them. So arrival drinks was bright, cheerful and loud! Like the years before, I enjoyed meeting up with the other people whom I knew from Tony’s work circle, tasting some very nice pre-dinner nibbles and generally easing into the fun of being at a party!
Being Seated for the Meal – and Drinks Being Poured
If it was going to ‘hit home’ that I no longer drink, this is when it would hurt. But it didn’t! Here is what I experienced.
Bottles were put on the table. At the sight of the red wine, and white wine being delivered and then passed around, I confess to it grabbing my attention. How did I feel? I felt a flash back to a memory. The sight of the old, very, very familiar bottle shape, the label, the colours, took me back for a nanosecond to a time when that vision related to something my body chemistry, my environmental conditioning, my well entrenched habits and my thoughts believed I wanted. But it was fleeting. Ever so mild.
All I had to think about was the consequences of drinking just a glass of the once desirable liquid, and I knew where I’d end up. And I do not want to go back to the old me! I’m healthier, happier, more fun, more loving, sexier and more vibrant now than probably even 5 years ago. If I do say so myself!
That Whiff
Interestingly, the next thing to happen was the lady I was seated next to opened and poured a glass of white wine for herself, right under my nose. How did I feel? How would you feel? All it took was a whiff of the wine, and I felt repulsed. It was the smell of those fumes you’d wake up to at 3am after a bottle the night before, and coordinates beautifully with the throbbing head and burning eyes. It was the taste of the vapours that would rise from your stomach to your throat for the best part of the rest of the next day. No thank you! Not missing anything there!
Evidently it wasn’t a nice white wine, as my dining companion gave that glass to her husband (down the hatch!) and swapped it for the red, which was more to her liking.
No Fair
Despite having no desire for white wine, since so often making myself feel quite awful from overindulging in it far too many times for too many years, the sight of a red wine 50cm from my nose made me think again.
How did I feel now? Well, that made me take a second thought. Red wines used to slow me down a bit more. They weren’t quite the ‘lolly water’ that white wine is, and weren’t quite so easy (for me) to overindulge in. But red wine leads to the same place. No thank you. I can live without that now. An alcohol free Christmas is far preferable to those headaches I used to suffer far too regularly.
This Glass is for Wine, That Glass is for Water
The waiter was funny. I wanted to drink my water from the pretty shaped wine glass, not the clunky, heavy, wide topped water glass. The first time I asked the waiter to pour my water into the wine glass, yet after that he kept topping up the water glass, which I kept pouring in to my wine glass when he wasn’t looking!
Okay, probably not proper table etiquette (it was an indoor/outdoor venue, quite casual, really. Did I mention that!) but it makes you question all of our age-old customs, doesn’t it? Why can’t water have a pretty glass? Why do you have to drink wine to have a pretty glass?
The Best Feeling
For the person who enjoys a serve or two or three of their preferred poison, and can truly not feel any negative effect in their body (but how would they know, if they’ve never had a body clear of the substance for any length of time) they may feel just great after an evening like that.
The best feeling for me is that I felt fabulous. I had enjoyed a lovely meal. I was sated, yet not overfull. Clear-headed, bright eyed and sparkly, I chatted and laughed and entertained. If I slurred my words it was because I was talking too much and too quickly, not because I was not in control of myself. Yes, we can be fun and good company without alcohol. Never let anyone tell you different. I had no fumes inside me, I was not falling asleep from alcohol.
But you know the very best feeling? It was that I took away no ongoing thoughts, feelings or problems. Because I hadn’t consumed any addictive substance that evening, the craving for it wouldn’t continue for more of it when I arrived home that evening. I didn’t have to stop at a bottle shop to get more, because I couldn’t consume more of it at the table. I won’t have a craving, starting around 3pm or 4pm today, because the ‘hit’ of alcohol is wearing off and my affected brain control centre is telling me I need more. NOW.
One Thing Leads to Another
Because, you know what? It wasn’t just the drink I might have had last night, it’s the one it would have caused me to crave and ultimately have, today. And what does that mean for tomorrow? Yes, more. And greater quantities of it. And before I know it, I’d be back to square one. Wanting more, craving more, having more. Not wanting to be without it. And, look, choosing to have it is one thing. But I always tried to control it and keep it to “the recommended level”. And that was downright painful, and impossible for me. That’s how it is for some of us. That’s for another story.
Did you see what happened?
Driving home, I asked Tony how he felt and how he found the evening, passing up what we once would have enthusiastically indulged in.
Tony said he could have taken it, but he was happy to leave it. He was happy to not have to worry about whether he was slurring his words from too many glasses!
He was amused by what happened right at the end of the evening. (We always seem to leave near to last. You can be the life of the party, even if you’re completely alcohol free, but inebriated just with life!) Tony asked me if I saw what others did. There were several half empty bottles left on the tables. Well, not wanting to be wasteful, a few considerate souls cleared up a few left overs in quick succession.
It wasn’t us this year! And we don’t have the headaches to prove it!
If what I’ve described sounds like something you think is worth exploring, we invite you to stick with us. You’ll feel supported in your decision to love being alcohol free, and experience all sorts of new wonders in your life.
A joyful Christmas is for me, amongst other things, an alcohol free Christmas.
