Have you ever been so disgusted with yourself over your drinking habit that you tried something really desperate in an effort to, well, stop doing it?
I sure have been. I wanted to share one story here that I recently recalled. I hope I’m not unique in this method, else I’m going to look pretty silly!
Ways to Attempt to Drink with Moderation
I tried so many things over the years. Like we all have! You know, only drinking on weekends, only having two small glasses, only having a drink after dinner. Then there was my theory about drinking a smaller amount of better quality wine instead of heaps of cheap wine. It just cost me more!
Have you heard that suggestion of ‘have a glass of water between each glass of alcohol’? Nothing felt worse in my stomach, which was wanting more wine, than a glass of water. I could never do it. It ruined the experience. And it required logical and reasonable thought, which was greatly reduced after a glass of wine.
Feeling Disgusted With Myself
I remember the feeling of disgust Oh so well. After all, it was a daily emotion for me for a lot of years. I constantly tried to drink with moderation. That was in the time before I understood why to drink with moderation, for me, was futile. It was the equivalent to putting a soft, cuddly sofa cushion in the same room as a Labrador puppy and expecting her not to shred it!
Here’s a visual on that :
Our Labrador puppy, Chilli, making snow in the tropics.
There are scenarios where certain outcomes are simply not possible. I know that now. And if you’ve read our free ebook, you will have an insight into that understanding also. If you haven’t downloaded it yet, CLICK HERE. (Be sure to look for the confirmation email that comes out after you’ve subscribed – it might have been intercepted by your email program!)
A Futile Attempt
This memory flashed back to me this week, and I don’t know what triggered it. But I believe it’s because I knew I needed to share it with followers of our Blog. Because it’s relevant and it may be helpful. I don’t know – maybe you’ve done it! Maybe you’ve done things even more desperate.
I can’t remember the details of what I had thought I had done wrongly, or differently from usual. But one Monday morning I gathered the wine glasses that I used and threw them in the garbage bin. There was nothing wrong with them – they weren’t chipped or old. I just wanted them out of my life. My reasoning was that if I didn’t have the wine glasses, perhaps I wouldn’t drink.
My Favourite Wine Glasses
I can’t remember where these particular wine glasses came from, but they were very nice. Very modern, with tall, tall stems and foot in black glass, and a nice, clear glass on top. Rather like the image I’ve found for this Blog Post! They started out in a set of four, I remember. But by the time I desperately disposed of them in the garbage bin (a green ‘Wheelie Bin’ – do you have those?) we were down to a set of two!
It pained me to throw them out, as I really liked them. I think that’s why the act of throwing them out was so desperate to me at the time. We never like to throw out anything we like. But these glasses represented everything I despised about myself. They, perhaps, were responsible for my having too many drinks in the evening, causing me to just want to retreat into myself and not be properly available for those who depended on me and needed me.
I’m Discerning about my Drinking Vessels (Okay, call me a Snob!)
I’m sure that behind the theory of binning my wine glasses that day is the fact that I am very particular about my drinking vessels. There’s nothing wrong with that, surely?
I like tea out of a nice china or porcelain cup. I dislike being served a cup of tea in a coffee cup (even if it IS a cup and saucer) in a café. I swear it doesn’t taste the same!
I like to drink water or other cold beverages out of a nice glass. Not a Vegemite glass! (When I was growing up, here in Australia, Vegemite was a staple part of our diet. And still is, for that matter. Vegemite could be purchased in containers which would be used as glasses after the contents were finished. So we ended up with a collection of small (approx 100ml volume) glasses – hence Vegemite glasses! Great for kids. I digress…
And when I drank wine, I liked to drink it out of the nicest wine glass possible. Perhaps that somehow made me discerning, classy and sophisticated? Or so I thought.
Appearances can be deceiving. I’m sure that no one seeing me drop my children at school bright and early in the mornings, dressed nicely, hair done, makeup carefully applied, had any inkling of the burning eyes, throbbing headache and nauseous stomach I was nursing. I used to envy that the other mums looked fresh and young and healthy.
I resented that they either didn’t drink (weird), or that they could drink with moderation (enviable).
There Were Still Other Wine Glasses in the House
Of course, I didn’t throw out Tony’s wine glass. And we had a few sets of ‘good’ wine glasses in boxes, reserved for dinner parties and special occasions.
I couldn’t drink out of Tony’s wine glass when he would be using it, so that was safe to leave.
And it would be too inappropriate and a waste of money to throw out six sets of nicely boxed wine glasses. I couldn’t justify that.
It Was Garbage Collection Day
So that Monday morning, my two nice, black-stemmed wine glasses went smash in the bin with the wine bottle. I don’t know if they broke when I threw them in, or not, but I was safe from going back to retrieve them, because the garbage truck would be along to take them away any moment.
Did This Attempt to Drink with Moderation Work?
Of course not. The problem wasn’t the wine glasses! The problem was inside me. I don’t remember how long it took me to ‘calm down’ and open one of those boxes for special occasions, select another nice wine glass, and start drinking again. But it probably wasn’t very long.
I don’t claim that it was all my fault. My inability to lead the life I wanted, without alcohol being in control of me, was largely not my fault. Just like it’s not your fault if it’s got control of you.
I am one to take responsibility for my own happiness, my own actions and my own circumstances. So I don’t say ‘it wasn’t my fault’ lightly.
It was, however, my responsibility to take charge and do something about it. And eventually I did, and that’s why I’m here, writing this for you now, from the bottom of my heart.
Have You Tried Something Similar?
I’d love to know that I’m not the only one to experience such emotions and try such crazy actions. I’d love to hear from you that you’ve done something similar, either in the Comments below, or in a personal email, or message on Facebook.
But it’s pretty personal, I know, and not something we want widely publicised. I’d rather not ‘air my dirty laundry’, but if I can help one person by telling this story, then it will have been worthwhile.
For some of us, to drink with moderation is a myth. Don’t fall for it.
If you’re desperately trying to reduce or control the amount of wine, beer or spirits you are consuming, then it’s time to think about it differently.
Try our “How to Stop Drinking and Love Being Free” Program and make the move to a happier, healthier, more successful version of you. You deserve it. You are worth it. And so are those who love you.
