A Birthday Treat
Today was our eldest Son’s birthday. Being a school day, and the day before his secondary school exams started, we decided on an easy and quick family dinner of Fish ‘n’ Chips at a favourite local riverside park. It’s a beautiful park, with barbecues, playgrounds, clean facilities, even clever little dog drink water stations! There’s a pathway all the way around the park and nice planted gardens and green grass. Green grass is not something to be taken for granted in our hot summer sun!
We’ve been coming to the Crossing for a few years, ever since we moved to the area. It’s a great place to bring a picnic, have a barbecue or to have a party or gathering for almost any occasion. There’s even a nice kiosk, if you can’t be bothered preparing your own food to bring! In the late afternoon, there’s often fitness groups setting up for training sesssions. People swim & kayak in the River (despite reports of sightings of occasional Bull Sharks!)
Our littlest Boy took off to the swings, and Tony and the bigger Boys went to check on the River. Whatever it is that needs to be checked on. When they came back, they started hitting the cricket ball around. Doggie and I had had enough strolling around, sniffing smells, eating grass and leaving deposits for me to collect & throw away. I decided to sit in the cool breeze and enjoy our cool drinks that we’d organised for ourselves while it was quiet.
Non Alcoholic Ginger Beer
The day before, whilst at the supermarket, the birthday Boy had requested we get some Bundaberg Ginger Beer. This is a non alcoholic ginger beer, so effectively a soft drink, or soda, depending upon where you’re from. As we were planning this outing to the park as his family birthday party, I allowed this very occasional treat. I’m quite serious (now) about eating and drinking for good health, and limit the soft drink / soda that the boys drink. I personally won’t touch mainstream sugary drinks. But this particular Ginger Beer is famous in our part of Australia – for very good reason – it’s made trandionally and it’s very nice!). Since it had been a hot day, I relished the cool, gingery bubbles. They cooled me down and brought tears to my eyes from the “burn” as the ginger and bubbles charged down my throat!
It took me a couple of mouthfuls before the thought struck me. Here I was, at 5 something o’clock, in a beautiful spot, drinking non alcoholic ginger beer. And I was completely comfortable with it. And it was fulfilling. And it was enough. I was momentarily shocked and amazed. I couldn’t help but smile and was bursting to tell Tony of my observation when he returned from the river inspection.
What’s the Big Deal?
You see, before I decided to love being alcohol free, if anyone had suggested to me that I have a Ginger Beer – particularly a non alcoholic ginger beer – at the Crossing at ‘drinkies’ time, I would have been disgusted. I’d probably have been polite on the outside, but inside, my thoughts would have been derogatory. My idea of the only thing that would have been acceptable would be cold white wine – from a proper glass. No plastic. A glass. Mind you, the plastic/glass argument still stands. I am a discerning tea drinker, and I have to be pretty desperate to drink my tea from a plastic or foam cup, I can tell you!! Discerning, it’s called. Not snobbish at all.
In fact, I could not have coped with the concept of a Ginger Beer instead of a wine. If I’d had a GInger Beer, I’d still have to go home and have wine. I would actually have refused a Ginger Beer and opted for water. And then gone home to have wine. And when I say wine, it wouldn’t have been the 1 or 2 standard drinks as recommended by our helpful government departments. In my estimation, 2 standard drinks was about one proper drink, about 4 standard drinks was probably the minimum I would have thought acceptable.
Yet, here I was today, feeling completely content, normal, happy and invigorated at enjoying my surroundings, the occasion and a sugary pleasure that I normally don’t allow myself. And oh yes, I felt discerning. After all it was a proper adult soft drink (soda) – not cheap nasty rubbish. LOL. It was also in a glass bottle – known as a ‘stubble’ in our part of the world. Not very classy – oh how my standards have dropped!
How I’ve Changed
What’s even more ridiculous than my choices of what I’d drink just a short year or so ago was my thoughts if I saw another gathering drinking soft drink, and not alcohol. I tell you honestly, I’d have thought they were weird and unsophisticated. There you go, I associated non-drinkers with not being ‘worldly’ and not being sophisticated.
Oh. My. Goodness.
This becomes particularly clear to me now that I am quite some way down the track of being alcohol free. I could never have seen this contrast with such clarity when I was ‘in the thick of it’.
Can Non Alcoholic Ginger Beer Make You a Better Mum?
Now I will confess that I didn’t actually get out and join in the cricket game. I’ve always struggled to “play” in that way. And after all, someone had to hold the Doggie’s leash. It was her afternoon out as well. The truth is, though, that in the days when I was drinking wine, if I’d been down at the Crossing in that particular scenario, I’d have had to be sitting clamped to the seat, ‘enjoying’ my wine. I would be observing, but not joining in. My grip on that sedative would have been such that I’d not even have considered trying to join in.
Today, well, I didn’t get a bat, and I embarrass myself when I try to bowl, so I didn’t bowl either. But I did wander closer to the game and laugh and joke with my Boys as they had fun. I tried valiantly to catch one or two balls that apparently accidentally came my way, but was pretty hopeless in high heels (I didn’t know there was a cricket game planned – I came for the food). But as I stood there today, enjoying almost being part of it all, I decided that next time we did this, I’d wear my runners and I’d join in the cricket match. After I’d given the Doggie a good old walk so she was happy to sit and sleep.
In the past it would have been unattractive to go for an afternoon outing at that time of day. It would have interfered with drinkies time. My time to “relax”.
Do You Relate to Any Part of This?
The point of sharing this silly little story with you today is to highlight the enormity of the effect of our social conditioning around alcohol. I just had to share with you the amazing revelation I had about the stark contrast in between my Before attitude and my After attitude. An attitude of an almost life long habit had been able to change significantly after approximately 12months of being alcohol free. I’ve developed different thoughts and opinions and attitudes around alcohol that now serve me, rather than destroy me.
This type of observation may not be likely to be something everyone will be aware of early into their story. But I’m pretty sure each will have their own stories of amazement about changed habits and feelings, once they love being alcohol free, and are some way down the track of embracing this new and improved version of themselves.
The joy of being at this point makes the big decision and the determined effort at the beginning so very worth it. The trick is having something, some reason, to focus on. For me it was knowing that the pain of trying to moderate my intake was far greater than the pain of being without the poison. I’m so relieved to be free of that pain. If you can relate and want also to be free of your own pain, that’s my reason for being here. Stick with us, try some decent non alcoholic ginger beer, and Love Being Alcohol Free.
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