The subject is of this blog post is fear!
But the question really is – “What are we afraid of?”
When we read this headline, some of us may not want to embrace the concept of fear, and I guess that is totally understandable. Maybe we dismiss it because we have nothing to fear? Do we push the thought away as too difficult to deal with? Or do we suppress the thought of fear because it is something we just don’t want to deal with? Maybe we don’t want to discuss fear because we feel threatened and we are not ready to have that discussion. Perhaps this is one of those closets that we are unwilling to open and take a peek inside! Or maybe we don’t want to reveal our weakness by admitting to being afraid…
Fear is a Natural and Normal Emotion
I understand all of these different emotions, and the interesting thing is that they are all valid! The simple truth is that we are all human, with a natural built-in programming to be cautious, wary and alert to possible dangers around us. I believe it comes from a natural function within the brain, derived from pre-historic times when we were surrounded by danger. Our survival was dependent on our ability to identify threats and to stay safe no matter what may jump out of the darkness. In particular, our brain was programed to fear the unknown, which helped to prevent us from walking off the edge of the world!
Fear of the Unknown
Now obviously falling off the Earth was a completely unnecessary thing to be afraid of, but our ancestors didn’t know that! So it was perfectly normal and natural to have an in built fear of the unknown in order to keep us safe.
So now we fast forward to the present time, and generally speaking, we live in truly fortunate times! For those of us who live in a western culture, we live in a time of prosperity, wealth and plentiful resources.
We lack for virtually nothing, and we are not required to perform arduous labour to obtain the things we need to survive. We have shops full of everything we need, and generally for very affordable prices. But it is about more than just stuff, we have many things to be grateful for. We have a much longer life expectancy, we have excellent medical interventions, reduced infant mortality, increasing literacy, clean water, improved sanitation, and the list goes on.
Maybe it is Fear of the Future?
But despite this, it seems some of us are not happy! Some people are caught up in dissatisfaction with their lives. Perhaps we need to gain a broader perspective to see just how lucky we really are.
Why do we sometimes find it difficult to see the true state of our prosperity? One reason is due to pessimism. A possible reason that pessimism has taken hold over the population, is that we hold a primeval fear of the unknown. Or maybe it is actually the fear of the future?
It is a normal and natural way that humans assess the world around them. We can look back at the past, and decide whether things were good or bad. We can assess the present, and decide that things are okay, but only temporarily.
But our deepest fears emerge when we try to predict the future. The reason for fear of the future is that we never know exactly how the future will turn out. When the fear of the future or fear of the unknown takes over, then our attitude can easily slip towards pessimism for future events over which we have no control.
We can focus on the Bad Things rather than the Good Things
Psychologically, if we look at good and bad things together on a scale, the bad things are more of a threat to us. If we use a set of scales as a metaphor, the bad tends to outweigh the good. Therefore pessimism and melancholy tend to prevail. Bad news fills our news coverage, it takes over our social feeds, and unfortunately, consumes our thoughts. It is no wonder that we get surrounded by bad news, eventually some of the negativity consumes our thoughts.
The glass half empty paradigm
A half full glass of water can be seen from two different perspectives! For some people, the glass is half full, while others see it as half empty. Of course, the glass is exactly the same! The problem is our perception of the situation, and when we look through pessimistic eyes, we only see the glass as half empty.
Perceptions can cloud our judgement
This has much wider connotations than a glass of water! If we have the perception that we are living our life with scarcity, or that we are missing out on something, then it changes our whole perspective on life. When we perceive that we are somehow missing out on something, or that life is not going so well, then that is probably what will happen. The unfortunate situation here is that it was only our perception of the world around us! In actual fact, we are surrounded by resources and abundance, but we allow our natural pessimism to get in the way.
Social Media is very bad at making us feel half empty!
Social Media is very good at making us feel bad! When it comes to social media, there is always a story or a picture of someone having more fun than us, or with more possessions than us, or someone who is happier than us. This also has a name, and we call it looking at the world through rose coloured glasses. Unfortunately we are not using them properly. We should look at our own world through rose coloured glasses, but instead we only apply the optimism filter to other people.
The problem is that we tend to focus on what is missing from our own lives. It is easy to look at the images of other peoples’ lives and feel extremely unfulfilled with what we have. The problem with this reaction is that we can actually feel less grateful for the things we do have. In reality, we have all got some good things in our lives, as well as some less desirable things. Other people just don’t tend to post their dirty laundry on social media!
It doesn’t have to be this way!
A better alternative to sinking into a negative state about what we are missing out on, would be to have a more rounded and holistic attitude to life. Sure it is great if our friends embark on wonderful holidays every year. Even if we are struggling to save up for a weekend away. But for the sake of the whole community, it is better that we aspire to going on that overseas holiday, even if we can’t go just yet. After all, if we don’t set our goals and aspirations in the right direction, then we would be unlikely ever to go on an incredible adventure. Maybe the anticipation is just as important as the actual experience!
That has got to be better than the fear of the unknown, right?
That’s right – it is better to set ambitious goals for our own lives, based on our own inspirations. The problem with the fear of the unknown is that it limits our sense of adventure. Worrying about the future is a sure way to unhappiness.
We need to address our fear of the future
Don’t let a hidden fear of the future or fear of the unknown steal your happiness. If we can overcome negativity and fear of the future, we can have a life of fulfillment, adventure, and enjoyment. And if you have been living with a fear of the future, or a fear of the unknown, then this is a good place to start.
Do you use alcohol to overcome fear?
The reason why many people find themselves drinking too much, is because alcohol offers temporary relief from fear. Many people find themselves self-medicating with alcohol to overcome these deep seated fears that they may not understand. If your drinking habit is preventing you from achieving happiness, then it is time to take a close look at the need to drink. We can actually address the underlying fears and anxieties in our subconscious mind. And then the reliance on alcohol can actually diminish, and take away the power that alcohol has over our lives.
If you want to cut back on alcohol, it might be time to face up to some of your hidden fears!